I went to Murfressboro to see Mary for her birthday this weekend. These are some of the highlights:

• We went to Amerigo with her family for dinner. I had never met her mom, but that didn’t stop me from calling her out on spelling Corey’s name wrong on the seat labels. She stoopid.
• We ate at Cracker Barrel and Anna used her 20% discount. SCORE!
• I had a good time coming up with different ways to say dirty blonde, such as I’m-gonna-get-the-clap-just-from-touching-you blonde and I’ve-already-done-your-brother blonde. Good times.
• Corey actually DID attempt to put his nuts on Mary’s face. It’s about time too. I was starting to think it was all talk and no action.
• On our way to the bar, a lot of us had to go to the bathroom. We stopped at an IHOP and all ten of us just walked in to use the bathroom and walked right back out. I know that it doesn’t sound like something that should be a highlight of the weekend, but you didn’t see the look on the waitress’s faces. I thought they were going to murder someone.
• After I got done getting ready to go out, I came into the living room and Rachel looked at me and said, “Good job!” It was a really sweet compliment.

It was a ton of fun! Thanks for having a birthday Mers!

And you shmell like shit.